As I lift off from Nairobi, my journey coming to a close, feeling emotionally and physically drained, I think, Africa is a flight away - for me. The situation with Geoffrey and WWB was pretty bad, but in the scheme of things, I was able to deal with it - I got a flight home, and I left.
For the hundreds of thousands that live in the streets in Nairobi, in the slums, where violence, the sex trade, and drugs fill the nights, and the days are long and hungry, and there is no possibility of school, Africa is NOT a flight away...it is real life, it is inescapable.
As hard as it is for me to leave, whenever I feel sad at leaving, I try to remember the children I met in Nairobi on Tuesday...these children who probably haven't eaten today.
As I wrap up my trip, I have tried to reflect on everything I have experienced, but it is too soon. My feelings about Africa and Watoto Wa Baraka are so conflicting; anger and frustration, exhaustion, combined with joy, lover, and happiness. I feel betrayed and hurt by the actions of the administration, and I feel that the situation is incredibly unjust. It is as though everything I did meant nothing. I may not even receive internship credit (which is the whole reason I am here – this is my field work for my graduate program). I am absolutely ready to come home, to see friends and family, and to feel comfortable in my own skin again. I am so grateful that I have a place to call home, that I can journey to the other side of the world and it does not matter, I still have a home, and my friends and family are still there waiting for me. I am so excited to see them. But at the same time, I am so sad to leave this place. There is something about being here – and its not just the kids, and its not just the traveling – that I absolutely love, and I cannot place my finger on it, it seems so out of reach. I think the way I am leaving makes it even harder, as I was not prepared to go.
This is a journey and an experience that has been exhausting but at the same time exhilarating. I have learned and experienced so much. I imagine I will endure some sort of culture shock when I am home and I hope that my friends and family will forgive me as it is inevitable that, for a while, I will begin every sentence with, “Well when I was in Kenya…” I am so grateful to all of the people who have supported me for so long, financially and emotionally. I would not have been able to come on this trip if it were not for all of the wonderful donors who helped me along. Thank you so, so much for your financial support! You have made my trip a reality and it has changed my life forever.
I would have been able to make it through this trip if it were not for my wonderful family, and most especially my mom and dad, all of whom supported me through phone calls, emails, and comments on this blog. No matter how low I have felt at various times, they have been extremely supportive of me and were always ready to help.
Though they will never read this, I want to thank all of the children at Watoto Wa Baraka. These beautiful children have taught me about love and about life in ways only children can. They have made me realize how much hope and promise there is in the next generation of Africa’s children. They have shown me the power of innocence and unconditional love, untainted and uncorrupted by the prejudice of the world. They have shown me that deep down, we are all the same, we are all human.
Thanks to the WWB staff, who have taught me a lot about Kenyan culture and customs, about life in this country, and how to cook chapati! Martha, Eric, Joseph, Priscillah, Grace, Jerusha, and Jane, each of them have shown me such love and given me a lot of great stories. They have, in their own ways, shown me support throughout my “situation” and I appreciate that immensely. Their own job security could be threatened if they stood up for me, but I have received quiet support that means a lot to me.
Thanks, even, to Geoffrey and Zach, for showing me how not to treat people and employees, for showing me what corruption and deceit looks like, and for showing me what money does to a person’s good heart and good will. I am certain that Geoffrey initially did have the best interest of these children in mind – you do not start an orphanage to make a profit. I think he does care deeply about the children, but it is evident that he also cares very much about protecting himself. Opening himself up to criticism is not his way, and I have to accept that. I think, however, that volunteers ought to be at least warned of the risk involved with working for Geoffrey, because it is a scary situation to be in. I would not advise people NOT to come to WWB, but instead advise them to come prepared with backup plans. Only by continuously asking questions and forcing Geoffrey to show this negative side of WWB will anything change; new volunteers can provide this, and if several of us must be kicked out along the way, perhaps it is part of the process.
Through this situation, I have learned how to communicate better, and I’ve learned about cultural differences in organization management styles. Despite the anger and bitterness I feel towards them, however, I am still extremely grateful and blessed to have been able to come to WWB. It is such a strange feeling to feel such love and anger towards a place at the same time!
Of course I want to thank the people who sent money to me while I was here:
Bill & Ruth Koptis
Matthew Tanner
Gail & Rich Tanner
Molly Scheetz
Monica Tanner
Sarah Hacker
Becky Horvath
Your donations have aided me in bringing both necessities and fun to the orphanage and to the community! Thank you so much for your help. I have done my best to spend the money wisely. The kids, the orphanage, and I all appreciate your donation so much.
THANK YOU FOR READING :)
