....and what I am feeling is both fear and excitement.
I am so excited and so ready to get there. After months of preparation, its finally time and I am ready to dive into this experience and work hard and play hard and really get my hands dirty. I'm so excited to meet the kids and learn about their lives and their culture and their world. This is their life. I get a glimpse of it, a short and fleeting look, and 11 weeks is a short time to do that. So I'm excited to absorb it as much as possible.
I feel a little fearful too, though - but not for all the reasons you might suspect. I'm not so scared of the physical discomforts or the food or the safety things...I'm moreso scared of all the changes that are about to begin in my life. I am going into this knowing that a lot of things in my life will be different when I return. This trip will help me discover whether I want to be in this field, and will play a big role determining if I return to my graduate program. That frightens me, as I do not know where I would go or what I would do if I choose not to go back to Pitt. I know that I will be different when I come home, in that I will have new stories and new experiences and hopefully some new perspective on life. Other things will be different too - many of my closest friends are moving away and moving on with their lives, and when I return much of my old life will be scattered around, and it saddens me to know that I can't return to the comfort of having them all there with me. But I know that amidst this change there are certainly some constants...my family, and my friends, are still there in spirit and mostly just a short ride away, and that is all that matters. I know I will be coming home in just eleven weeks, which may feel like an eternity now, but I have a feeling that by August 4, I will be dreading the trip home.
Next time I write, I will (hopefully, providing no traveling issues) be writing from Kenya!
Grateful and blessed to have everyone's support and prayers. I love you all!
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I hope you have a wonderful time!!! I am sure its going to be even more eye-opening than you can ever imagine.
ReplyDeleteCall me :)
Made me cry a little... love you Tanner.
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you :)
Your blog made me a little teary as well! It's Wednesday morning in Ohio. We are following your flights and you are presently flying from Brussels to Bujumbura. Only 7 more hours to Nairobi! Hang in there, honey, we are thinking of you and praying for you.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Mom
Waiting to see if you have arrived now in Nairobi. It's 1:15 AM, May 20 your time, about 6:15 here.
ReplyDeletebon voyage-- love and miss (and i esp. like your blog picture!)
ReplyDeleteTo everyone reading Emily's blog,
ReplyDeleteShe made it to Kenya just fine. Called me this morning around 6 AM (noon her time in Kenya) to say she made it okay. I called her around 7:30 AM EST (1:30 PM Kenya time) and she is now at the orphanage. She will not be able to blog for a long time, most likely due to not having internet access at this time.
She's very tired having been up now for close to 48 hours. But she's there!